Let-me-test-this-girl game

 

Is it right to pretend to a person with whom you claim to be in love with? How right is it to make the other person’s life a living hell just to validate her presence in life? Is it always right to be so obstinate to that girl who loves you so much, honestly and genuinely that she could never know how it is to be in love actually? Is ruthlessness the only way that you can check whether she’s the one no matter if it pushes her to the breakage point?

Like the title suggests, some men (who can be called as lab specimens) have a tendency to test drive their girl with whom they are in a relationship. Just to check whether she can stand the test of time and the pressure of all relationship circumstances they tend to put her within all sorts of emotionally charged up drama. On the name of love, they don’t even budge to give her a cold shoulder especially when she needs him the most. That she is desperate to reach to him to share her worries just to find him say NO to her just because he’s judging her.

It’s just that why they fail to realize that all this hard work is not required to be put up everytime. Those words once out of the mouth can be forgotten but not forgiven. I remember pain as staring at myself in the mirror with tears streaming down my face and wiping them just to see them rolling back.

That window shopping for love can also hurt terribly.

Being that girl I can say that I tried very hard to understand that strange behaviour. Experiencing those kinds of atrocious affections was really uncalled for especially when I deserved to be treated royally, (being in love) explore him and bask into the glory of his affections. However, I never had single clue that I was under constant scrutiny whereas as I was showing him with utmost love, all unconditionally and innocently. 

Being on an extended trial by him to determine whether I meet his needs, I was hurtful because of his opinionated behaviour towards me. Gradually getting extinguished by his defensive behaviour yet wounding words at times a part of me inside used to die a slow death.

Constantly being fed the ‘less emotional attachment’ policy to me, we were in a relationship about which I had no clue. Despite that my inner voice made me stuck to who I am. Whatever emotional violence I underwent, I accepted it without any complaint but only pining for a hope to invoke that change within him where he’ll realize how much love I have in store for him. 

The bitter truth at the moment of his confession of his discreet scrutiny conducted onto me went straight inside me like that sleeper drug that activates to affect from inside eventually.

Did he try to make sure whether he fulfils my requirements in my man- emotional, mental, physical, financial, and sexual? The answer to it is still indefinite. 

Still something silly inside me tells that he loves me! He’s a completely imperfect fool who has fallen in love with me with hell lot of shortcomings and I have accepted him the way he is.